A reader sent me a link to an article and I am not the kind to respond but in this case I’ll make an exception. Especially because the author is such a fucking douchebag.
Take a moment to read the article – it’s short. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/04/30/memo-to-the-south-go-ahead-secede-already.html
What Mr Siegel fails to realize is this – the North cannot survive without the South. The South has a much more well developed AG industry. Arkansas is the #1 rice and soybean producer; Texas, Missouri, and Oklahoma are 3 of the 5 top beef producers; and the south is pretty much got a stanglehold on the cotton industry. Louisiana has a burgeoning fishing industry. The south pretty much has the poultry industry sewed up. Granted the north has Ag but does it have enough to feed those EBT dependent mouths? Lee, how long would it take before your dependents resort to cannibalism (and yes the Donners were Yankees)?
Another thing Joisey douche fails to realize is that industry is flocking to the south at record rates. Hell the mass migration from the north is well documented and reported – even by the rag that calls itself Newsweek. The auto industry? Shit – don’t make me laugh. The south has the largest concentration of foreign automaker factories in the US which in turn are responsible for a majority of the auto sales in the US. And they didn’t need a bailout. Lee take a trip to Detroit but make sure you get your vaccinations first. That rusty metal that was once the center of industry can give you a nasty case of tetanus.
So we split and you get to pay jacked up rates for our exports to you. I like the sound of that. And health? Jesus man don’t lecture us about health as long as you have that fatass waiting for a heart attack Christie as Govenor.
I do agree – an amicable split would be a good thing. And as that young law student suggested I think these terms are fair:
“Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a our separation agreement:
–Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
-We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
–You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
–You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’ Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.
–We’ll keep Bill O’Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
–You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
–You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.
–We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
–You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
–We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
–You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
–We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”
–I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.
–We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
–Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American”
So Lee, in summary you’re pretty much just a Jersey Douche drama queen in most of our eyes. Seriously – WTF is a culture critic? Does that “job” even serve a real purpose other than amusing snot nosed spoiled northerners? I’m done with ya – and hell I didn’t even get to the part about Sprezzatura and the New Republic debacle.